The book not only promotes quitting as a valid option, it discusses why and how we should quit when something is not working for us. Moreover, the authors demonstrate that human beings are hard wired to persist in pursuit of a goal - even when the goal is unreachable or no longer satisfying. 3) Persistence and positive thinking, we are told from the time we are children, are the keys to success. So why does quitting have such a bad rap? "We've all been taught that quitting is a sign of weakness and that quitting is for losers," the authors bluntly note. "Quitting not only frees us from the hopeless pursuit of the unattainable but permits us to commit to new and more satisfying goals." This, in a nutshell, is the message of this book. And yet there was something on just about every page that I could relate to or that gave me food for thought. The book is slightly academic in tone with lots of psychological terminology and studies quoted (I'll admit this did bog me down a bit in spots). Its message totally applies to those who are at a crossroads in their infertility journey - trying to decide whether to continue treatment or follow another path (and if so, which one). "Mastering the Art of Quitting: Why it Matters in Life, Love and Work" doesn't mention infertility at all - but I saw myself and other infertile women I know throughout its pages. It's time to embrace "the Q word" (as my sister calls it - only in her case, she's talking - or rather, avoiding talking - about quitting smoking, lol - which, as the book says, "the only kind of giving up we collectively accept and support"). Nobody wants to be thought of as a quitter - and certainly not in the infertility & loss community, where people don't seem to want to hear any story except one with a conventionally happy ending (i.e., a living, healthy baby, no matter what the costs or what you had to endure to get him/her). Why quibble over "quit"? It's not hard to understand why: in our achievement & success-oriented culture, quitting has a negative connotation. I "stopped"įertility treatments, I "ended" them, I "left" them, I "made the decision to stop/end/leave treatment" and live without children, I "chose to take my life in a different direction." "Quitting" is a word I have long avoided when talking about my infertility journey. Just thinking about the answers will give you insight into your ability to quit artfully and restart your life.ĭo you believe that "winners never quit and quitters never win"? How realistic are you when it comes to setting goals? What matters more: staying the course or exploring new possibilities in life? How much of your sense of self relies on other people's judgments? Do you tend to hang in longer than you should, even when you're unhappy? When you try something new, do you focus on the effort you have to put in or the possibility of failure? Are you a procrastinator or a delayer when it comes to getting things done? How much do you worry about making a mistake? Do you second-guess yourself? How hard is it for you to get over a setback? Take a moment and answer the following questions. When is it time to stop persisting and start quitting? Quitting is a healthy, adaptive response when a goal can't be reached.įeaturing compelling stories of people who successfully quit, along with helpful questionnaires and goal maps to guide you on the right path, Mastering the Art of Quitting allows you to evaluate whether your goals are working for or against you, and whether you need to rechart certain aspects of your life. The most satisfied people know when it's time to stop persisting and start quitting. Without the ability to give up, most people will end up in a discouraging loop. Quitting promotes growth and learning, as well as the ability to frame new goals. They reveal simple truths that apply to goal setting and achievement in all areas of life, including love, relationships, and work: We also need to be able to quit to get the most out of life. In a culture that perceives quitting as a last resort and urges us to hang in, Mastering the Art of Quitting tackles our tendencies to overanalyze, ruminate, and put a positive spin on goals that have outlived their usefulness.īestselling author Peg Streep and psychotherapist Alan Bernstein demonstrate that persistence alone isn't always the answer. Find out why the happiest, most successful people have the ability both to persist and to quit.
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